Stepping in front of the lens....
Ten years ago I posed for my very first boudoir session. It wasn't by any means "professional", but the photos turned out really good. I wanted to be a Suicide Girl and in order to do that you needed to send them a portfolio and an essay on why you wanted to be one...
I couldn't tell you what that essay said, lol. Doesn't matter, I wasn't picked. And I'm sure my husband wasn't too upset about it. Luckily, he's very open minded and pretty much lets me do whatever I want, but I'm sure having his wife pose either scantily clad or nude for public consumption was not on his list of wife material, but he agreed to allow me to try and I'm sure he's happy it didn't go anywhere.
Fast forward a few years later...what do you get the man who has pretty much everything he wants for his birthday?? O, I know!! Boudoir Photos!!! So, this time I had a professional photographer take my photos. My husband's birthday is in October, which happens to be my favorite month/time of the year so it was a bonus that this particular photographer was offering Halloween themed boudoir sessions!! Vampire or Zombie...um, as if you had to ask me??? I signed up and a couple weeks later presented my hubby with some scantily clad, red eyed, fanged photos for his birthday.
I couldn't tell you where those photos are today though, lol....hmmmm...Michael Schaefer, where are those photos????
Anyhow, fast forward some more years later and after spending three years BEHIND the camera to photograph other beautiful women in scantily clad attire, or no attire at all, I decided for my 40th Birthday, I was going to do it again! Except this time....this time, would be hard.
I grew up thin. Before kids, the most I ever weighed was 138 and in my mind that was overweight. So, after kids and medicine and hormones and age, the lbs have not come off. With my son I weighed 194 at the end of my pregnancy. I was trying like hell to reach that 200 lb mark but it didn't happen! Lol. After I had him, I only managed to lose 30 lbs. With my daughter, I reached that 200 lb mark, and kept going!!! With her, I lost all my pregnancy weight in the first three weeks since I was breastfeeding, but then I went back to work, and after three months my nursing dwindled down big time, and I had to start taking medicine that unfortunately packed all my pregnancy weight plus extra back on. So, to say I was hesitant to step back in front of the camera for a boudoir session was an understatement.
I hadn't lost the weight I so desperately vowed to do at the beginning of this year. I did lose some, like, a teeny tiny bit but that didn't put a dent into anything except one pant size...and with hormone and stomach intestinal issues, that size fluctuates. But, I did it. I was fortunate enough to have someone I trust take my photos. Even though he is by no means a professional at all. I tried to coach him as much as possible and I can say that I get it ladies!!!!
Even though I coach you all, and know which poses look best for you, being in front of the camera is HARD!!! Especially when you're not a young, hot twenty something anymore. I wasn't 100% naked but I mine as well have been. Even though my husband was the one behind the lens and he's seen every single bump, wrinkle, stretch mark, cellulite, bulge, etc a million times, it's still a very hard thing to do. To bare yourself in such a vulnerable way.
So, without further ado, here are some of my photos from my session. Can I just say THANK GOD FOR PHOTOSHOP!!!! Omg, I didn't realize I had so many damn wrinkles!! Currently, debating botox....maybe I'll do it again when I'm 50.....until then, I will stay BEHIND THE CAMERA WHERE I BELONG!!!!
And for all those brave women and men who have stepped in front of my camera or who will in the future, know that I've been there, done that...and I APPLAUD YOU!!!!!
XOXOX
JEN
